Are you stressing about how to tell your family you’re eloping? Well, you’re not alone! Most, if not all, of my couples who are planning an elopement or very intimate wedding express anxiety about how to announce an elopement wedding. While we wish it was as easy as sharing an announcement saying “we are eloping!” the reality is that announcing your elopement can be stressful when elopements are still thought of as something shameful or taboo. Keep reading for tips on how to announce your elopement, written by a Midwest and destination elopement photographer!

A lesbian couple elopes on Old Orchard Beach in Maine. One of them is wearing a dress and the other is wearing a suit. They are walking down the coast with their dog after sunset while the beach is blue and moody.

Prepare for loved ones to be disappointed or try to talk you out of it.

Even though elopements and microweddings are growing in popularity, there are still a lot of misconceptions about what eloping really means. There’s definitely a taboo around it, especially in older generations - like it’s something shameful or secretive, or it means that you want to make your wedding less of a big deal.

When announcing your elopement to loved ones, it might help to communicate why eloping is the right choice for you. You don’t owe an explanation to anyone, but understanding your reasons to elope can help ease the disappointment of not getting an invite to your wedding. Go beyond the stereotypes and assumptions like saving money or strained relationships with family (even if those things are true!). Elopements are also for people who value unique experiences more than things, don’t like to be the center of attention, crave intimacy and alone time with their partner, or just can’t imagine saying their vows anywhere but a remote and epic destination.

Involve loved ones in your elopement planning.

While they won’t be there for the actual ceremony, that doesn’t mean your family and friends can’t be part of the elopement planning process! If you invite loved ones to join you in picking a location, finding a wedding outfit, or organizing details, they’ll see just how excited you are about your decision to elope instead of having a big wedding. If they can see and understand that it’s a big deal to you, the people who love you will support you every step of the way.

Get fun photos done to announce that you’re planning an elopement.

While you’re under no obligation to announce your elopement to the world, sharing your plans to elope can deter an influx of questions about wedding planning that you don’t have the answers to. If you want to share on your social media that you’re planning to elope, hire a photographer you love to take your announcement photos. You can even buy or DIY a cute sign saying “we’re eloping!” and let the photos speak for themselves.

A Minnesota North Shore elopement at Split Rock Lighthouse State Park. This couple shares their first kiss in front of Split Rock Lighthouse, with Lake Superior and blue morning fog as their backdrop.

Consider announcing it after you’ve eloped.

Some couples don’t want to deal with the stress of telling family they’re eloping. That is totally valid! Sometimes it’s just easier to say “we eloped!” than “we’re eloping!” You’re allowed to tell only the people you know will support you, then share your new marriage once it’s too late to talk you out of it.

Consider eloping but having a reception back home.

Just because you’re eloping doesn’t mean your friends and family can’t celebrate with you! Planning a larger reception after you’ve eloped just the two of you can be the perfect way to invite those who support you to join in on the festivities.

Two brides elope at Torrey Pines. They are both wearing white dresses and standing in front of epic rust colored cliffs along the beach in San Diego.

Don’t stress too much about the proper etiquette for eloping.

I’ve included these tips to help guide you on how to tell family you’re eloping, but it’s just that: a guide! Because to be honest… there really is no standard etiquette for announcing an elopement. At the end of the day, a simple “we’re eloping!” is actually just fine. The people who love you will support you no matter what, even if they don’t understand. Your wedding is about you and you shouldn’t have to sacrifice what you really want to make others happy…. Even if it makes your mom a little sad at first.

Check out my blog for more elopement tips, including a list of LGBTQ friendly elopement destinations, some Midwest elopement inspiration from this Split Rock Lighthouse elopement, and this article about dark and moody elopement photography.

xoxo,

Abi

(she/her)

How Do You Announce an Elopement?